There is a point in an interaction where a woman makes the choice between seeing you as a friend or as a possible romantic interest.You need to be able to spice things up at this point to avoid going down the friend route. Over time and without any pre-planning, I developed my other two characters, Mr. Sociable and the Seducer, and my success rate with women increased hugely. To increase your success rate, you need to use the three characters as follows:
1- Mr. Sociable :
This is the guy that makes a great first impression; he has high energy levels (see subsection on energy levels), is animated, and makes people feel comfortable. He will be able to get in with any group, make them laugh and generally brighten up their evening. We are glad this person is around because there will be no awkward silences, he’ll keep the conversation going.
Someone who is naturally Mr Comfort might think too much about what he says; he thinks he’s being considerate, but people relax a lot more when the person they are with is relaxed himself. Mr. Sociable personifies this because he is obviously being very natural, and saying what comes to mind. Because he is comfortable, people will relax around him. On the other hand, he will be very good for the first few minutes but might find it hard to connect with the person, or to seduce them, simply because he is too high-energy. After a while women will probably become tired of talking to him, because he can’t be serious or deep.’We’ve all been in situations with someone who constantly tries to crack jokes; it’s good for a few minutes but quickly becomes tiresome.
Use this character for the first few minutes until you’re into a comfortable two-way conversation and they want you to stick around. Extroverts will find it easier to step into this character, whereas introverts will find it harder. I knew for a long time that I needed to be more sociable, outgoing, funny, and interesting – but how do you do that? Everyone can think of someone who is the archetypal Mr. Sociable, and to be him yourself you need to:
- Be high energy. Remember: Voice tone vocation, movement, eye contacy, gestures, facial animation.
- Be positive. People in England are generally less positive than our American cousins.We like to moan about the weather, how stressed we are, how bad the food is, and whatever else. Although we can connect with people by talking about negative stuff, people would much prefer to be surrounded by those who make them feel good. Find the positive aspects, and if someone starts a negative conversational thread try to switch it as soon as possible. I’m not talking about being “Happy Clappy”, you can be realistic, but if you have the choice of talking about something negative or positive, accentuate the positive.
- Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the music, the company, the venue, the drinks, the food. Most people don’t seem to enjoy themselves much, but we are always drawn towards people that look like they are having fun. Enthusiasm, passion and happiness are contagious.you will make people want to be part of your life if you look like you are enjoying yourself. One man might be a billionaire with the perfect life, but look bored and uninterested; another might be average in every regard, but have a real passion for life – women will want to be with him subconsciously, because this person can make them Gel good.
- Smile. You’ll already stand out, as most people don’t smile!
- Do most of the talking. Ask few questions. Keep the conversation light and situational.
2- Mr. Comfort :
After you’ve integrated into a group, you can bring out Mr. Comfort. When you first approach strangers, they are usually in a’wait and see’mode. It might happen quickly, or might take a while, but soon they should open up to you and commit to the interaction. How do you know when this has happened? Non-verbally : they will stop looking at each other, or around the room, and will be focused on you and what you say. Verbally : They will start to commit more to the conversation, giving longer answers and asking you questions.
Mr. Comfort is interested and interesting. He listen fifty percent of the time, doesn’t talk too much about himself and tries to understand women, find common interests and build rapport. He should stick around until you’ve a connection with a girl, at which point he should start to bring . in some elements of the next character, the Seducer. Usually, Mr. Comfort cannot start conversations very well and is not very seductive, so it will be awkward when he goes in for the kiss. Being Mr. Comfort was always my strong point. Most introverts will be at home in this mode. The problem is getting stuck in it! Ninety percent of the time, when guys tell me they have been put into the ‘friend zone’ by a woman, it’.s due to being Mr. Comfort for too long. Having no sexual vibe, no matter how good you are conversationally, means you’re no more use than her girlfriends or gay best friend!
3- The Seducer :
The Seducer, coming in after Mr. Sociable and Mr. Comfort, will be very effective. The following are behavioral traits of the Seducer :
- He looks at a woman in a way that tells her he wants her.
- He speaks more slowly, with a deeper voice.
- He touches her in increasingly sexual ways.
- He holds her hand when he talks.
- He holds intense eye contact.
- He is comfortable with pauses in the conversation.
The Seducer should smoothly emerge from Mr. Comfort as you find out more about the woman and become more attracted. When he is there from the start, it looks like you’re just into her for her looks. By matching the way a woman becomes attracted to a man (generally, they warm up to a man over time), you’ll separate yourself from other guys and she’ll feel a deeper connection.
Learn the three characters of the seduction and you’ll smoothly move from starting conversations to getting intimate. It’s one of the most useful skills that you will learn.