What Is a Hard to Get Man?

The Hard to Get Man Follows the Charismatic Model. The Charismatic Model combines four essential qualities. The Hard to Get Man knows how to express all of these qualities with women.

  • One part of the Charismatic Model is the ability to be kind, warm, and caring
    about people and the world.
  • A second part of the model is the ability to be sensual and romantic. This part
    involves talking about romantic things, seeing romantic details, and relating
    on a sensual and sexual level with women.
  • The third part of the Charismatic Model is the ability to be playful, silly,
    and fun.
  • The fourth component is the ability to walk away from women, to be tough,
    to not take any shit, and to be courageous

As you can see, if you only have one of these qualities you can easily fail with
women, but when all of them are operating at once you are unstoppable.

What the Hard to Get Man does:

  • The Hard to Get Man is willing to walk away from a woman if she is rude
    to him. He doesn’t sell out or give his balls away to women. He has high
    self-regard and only gives when he wants to give.
  • The Hard to Get Man is an excellent communicator. He is able to tell the
    truth about what he thinks, feels, experiences, etc.
  • The Hard to Get Man is not ashamed of his sexual desires. He is able
    to flirt romantically. He is able to have fun effortlessly talking to women
    about sexual and sensual things.
  • The Hard to Get Man does not placate women. He has high self-respect
    and doesn’t do things he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t sell out around
    women or feel as though he has to lie to or manipulate women.


Being a Hard to Get Man is about enjoying life on your own terms. It’s about
being a good guy, yet not being a wimpy guy who feels as if he has to take
shit from women. It’s a balance. It’s about enjoying women, and not feeling
compelled to impress them or to be overly aggressive.

Being Hard to Get is about being responsible for your life, not being a
whining baby.

Being Hard to Get is about being selective, having criteria, maintaining high
standards, taking risks, and getting a lot of women.

A Hard to Get Man works the fundamentals of dating and seduction. He
understands that successfully seducing women is like any other long-term
project. He understands that, at first, he will have to put a lot of energy
into it, and settle for small results until he gets better at it. He knows that
at the beginning of learning any new skill there is a lot of work, and that
the returns at first are small. He understands that returns get larger only
as his skill level increases, which will only happen with practice.

The Hard to Get Man understands the fundamentals of seduction, and he
practices the fundamentals on a daily basis. He knows that only by mastering
the fundamentals can he become a more effortless and effective seducer.

The Hard to Get Model

The Hard to Get Model is a way of life. It’s a combination of behaviors, attitudes,
skills, and ideas that combine to create an attractive man. When you combine
these qualities with the Charismatic Model, you have a man who lives life on
his terms and is irresistible to women.

Woman Trying To Kiss A Man And He Is Rejecting Her
Woman trying to kiss a man and he is rejecting her outdoor in a park

This is what the “bad boy” does that makes him so irresistible to women. And
it’s what you’ll do, once you know how to be a Hard to Get man.

Passion and Intensity

Passion is power. The Hard to Get Man is passionate about life. He has energy
and passion about things other than women in his life. Being passionate is
demonstrated in having energy and showing passion in conversations.
The BNB is predictable and flat, boring, and lame. Intensity is about being
focused, having strong opinions, and being unashamed of your passions. A
leader. Someone who is up to stuff and you want to be up to stuff with them.
Someone with their own style.


Women love drama, and in case you haven’t noticed, they create drama in
all aspects of their lives. Drama means having things unfold like they do in
a movie—an emotional tale with dramatic ups and downs and a variety of
experiences and emotions through conversations, stories, or events.

Mystery, Complexity, and Depth

Predictability is boring. Women crave men who can create interesting
conversations, which make them work hard to find meaning and answers.
Women crave men who are complex and deep. They want a man who can
talk about a variety of subjects in depth and demonstrate originality and
uniqueness in his personality. In our live seminars, we spend days exploring
ways to demonstrate an interesting personality based on the stories you tell
and the things you talk about.


A mysterious person doesn’t tell everything up-front, and they have more to
them than meets the eye. They are not exactly secretive, but they are hard to
understand, pigeonhole, or entirely figure out.

Chaotic, Unpredictable, Flexible Behavior

The Hard to Get Man is unpredictable in the things he talks about, the way he
behaves, and the way he expresses himself. As a result the Hard to Get Man
is flexible in his approach with women and is able to deal with the inherent
chaos involved in relating to women.

You really cannot predict how a conversation with a woman will go. The BNB
wants everything to be nice, orderly, safe, and predictable. The Hard to Get
Man, however, knows that interacting with women is chaotic, messy, and
sometimes crazy. The only thing predictable about interacting with women is
that it’s never the same way twice.

Fun and Exciting

If you are serious about succeeding with women you better be fun to be
around. Think this through rationally, bro. Do you honestly think anyone
wants to be around a depressing guy who never smiles or who scowls anytime
anyone tells a joke? Do you think chicks want to be around a low-energy guy
who is boring, humorless, and seems angry and/or closed? No pickup lines or
fancy patterns will help you if you’re not fun to be around. There is no way
you are going to find, meet, or keep a woman in your life if you are not fun
and exciting to be around.
We’re not saying you need to act like a clown or a comedian either. If you are
not naturally funny, don’t start now. There is nothing worse than someone
telling stupid jokes, and then making it worse by fucking up the delivery. But
if you are naturally funny and are just shy, stop holding back. Let it out.
Being fun means being relaxed, easy to be around, enjoying hanging out with
women, appreciating humorous stories, being open about your life and your

A Hard to Get Man Does Not Avoid Conflict
and Has an Edge

Most guys avoid conflict with women like the plague. Anytime a conversation
gets heated a BNB does everything he can to avoid a disagreement or a
conflict. He will apologize, change the subject, or get incredibly scared.
The Hard to Get Man doesn’t avoid conflict. He pushes women to find their
“hot” buttons. He knows that conflict is seductive. Yes, read it again: conflict
can be seductive to women. Conflict is bonding. Conflict presents a challenge
for a woman. Conflict shows you have self-respect and do not take shit. And
conflict invokes emotional passion from women, which often evolves into
sexual energy. Think about how hot sex can be after a couple makes up after
a fight.


Source :How to Be the bad boy Women Love, Ron Louis.


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