You will hear women ask men, “So, what do you do?” “Where are your friends?” “Where’d you graduate?” and “Who’s he?” Various kinds of social ranking are of great interest to people, especially women. These include occupation and your ranking within it, social status, reputation, and social and sexual alignments. The answers to these questions help a woman judge whether you possesses a high-enough S-and-R value for her.
Discretion Is a Virtue
When she says, “Not here,” you say, “I understand.”
A woman’s reputation directly influences her social status. This is why women are easier to get into bed when they are on vacation—they are more likely to indulge in an adventure that they trust holds no social consequences. This is also why women are appreciative of men who understand and practice discretion. A Venusian artist will never brag publicly about his sexual conquests unless doing so (with her permission) legitimately raises her social status. If you brag, not only will it eventually get back to her, but also any other woman who hears it will be on notice that sexual relations with you carry social consequences. So, for example, when you obtain a phone number from a woman, don’t walk straight to your friends and high-five them for all to see.
The Anti-Slut Defense
The word “slut” is a weapon women use against other women in an attempt to lower their competitors’ perceived’ perceived social value.
Women have a powerful interruption mechanism known to pickup artists as the anti-slut defense (ASD). Not only do women prefer to avoid having others perceive them as sluts, but they also want to avoid the discomfort of feeling like a slut. So a woman’s highly calibrated ASD circuit acts as an interrupt mechanism to help her avoid this fate. Be aware of others in proximity, as their presence alone may influence the behavior of the woman you are trying to kiss.
A woman will rarely do anything during the pickup that makes her feel responsible for what may happen between the two of you. To whatever degree she feels responsible, her anti-slut defense will be activated. Thus she has a need for plausible deniability. For example, if you were to say to her, “Hey, let’s go back to my place and have sex,” she would have to say no, even though she wanted to say yes, because saying yes would make her responsible for what is happening—which she can never be. But if instead you were to say, “Hey, let’s stop by my place on the way to that party; I have to show you my tropical fish,” now she has an excuse and plausible deniability to stop by your place and then— oopsie!—-have sex with you. “One thing led to another…” This is why serendipity is so romantic. After all, if it was meant to be, then how can it be her fault? Who is she to deny Pate?
Act with Moxie
“Moxie” means “inventive courage.” The Venusian artist must always be leading the interaction. He has no choice. Women seldom take responsibility for what is happening. For example, it is necessary to keep things interesting during the opening phase of the game. If you don’t work to steer the conversation onto interesting topics, the woman may accidentally raise her own boring topics—and then she’ll feel bored and blame it on you. It may not seem fair that we men are responsible for leading the conversation, but if we don’t, then we may lose the girl. If she feels bored around you but excited around another guy, why should she waste her time on you? Make things happen. Take responsibility for your shared experience with her. It’s your job to foster each shared moment and lead her from one to the next with moxie, whether it’s moving from phase to phase, meeting the objectives of each phase, escalating, venue changing, or something else. (You will learn how to do this step-by-step in the very next chapter.) If she’s boring and bored, it’s your fault.
This is another way to relieve her of any responsibility for what is happening. Of course, don’t confuse persistence with begging, arguing, or being pushy, needy, or creepy. All it means is don’t give up too easily. Girls may test you to find out how easily you throw in the towel—-they want to gauge your self-confidence. Just assume that she is giving a little token resistance, and continue. If she didn’t resist at least a little bit, she would feel like a slut—and that’s not going to happen. And if you can’t take her crap, how in the world are you going to protect her from other people’s crap?
This can be tricky—an overly aggressive man might misinterpret all resistance as being merely token and could eventually find himself facing a rape charge. However, a man who isn’t persistent enough will acquiesce every time a woman resists, when in many cases she was secretly hoping that he could be a little more forceful.